Frequently Asked Questions

Are you just TOO BUSY or simply just TOO LAZY to search through my web site to find stuff you want to know? Well here are most of the answers together on one single page for you to copy into your homework and pretend you did lots of research and then feel really cool and clever which you're not because just copying stuff doesn't actually make you intelligent - ooh that's a long word isn't it? Just look it up in the dictionary - oops another long word there. Sorry.

If the answer is coloured blue, you can click on it and go to the right page to find out more.

Q - When did you start writing books and when was your first book published?
A - 1990 and 1991.

Q - How old were you when you wrote your first book?
A - It's June 2014 - I am 71 so you work it out.

Q - What was your first book called?
A - Ethel the Chicken.

Q - What is your favourite picture that you have done?
A - How to Live Forever. But then it would be nice to think I haven't done the best one yet.

Q - What is your favourite novel that you have done?
A - How to Live Forever. But then it would be nice to think I haven't written the best one yet.

Q - What is your favourite novel by someone else?
A - At The Tomb of The Inflatable Pig by John Gimlette. It is not a novel, but a book about Paraguay which may well be the weirdest and most fascinating country in the world.

Q - How many books have you written?
A - More than 60.

Q - Why are some of your books illustrated by other people?
A - Well, it means I can do a lot more books because I can sometimes write a story for a picture book in a few hours and then someone else spends weeks and weeks doing the pictures. Also there are a lot of things that some other illustrators can draw better than me.

Q - Do you have any special messages in your books?
A - If someone writes a children's book because they think they have an important they have to tell everyone, that book will be VERY BORING and PATRONISING. That doesn't mean there aren't any messages in my books. It's just that I NEVER set out with that as my reason for writing a book.

Q - Do you have a pet?
A - I've got two dogs - Max who is a whippet and Daisy who isn't.

Q - Why do you put a little rabbit in lots of your picture?
A - I don't.

Q - Do you like writing or illustrating best?
A - I like doing both, but if someone said you can only do one of them for the rest of your life, I would choose writing.

Q - How do you make your pictures?
A - I draw everything on the computer. I use Apple computers and I draw with a Wacom Graphics tablet using a program called Photoshop.

Q - Can you tell me how to become a writer?
A - Yes, I can. There is one think you need you need to be told and it is this - WELL, GET ON WITH IT THEN.

Q - Why do you make your pictures so incredibly detailed?
A - Two reasons. 1 - because I can and 2 - it covers up the fact that I'm not that good at drawing.

Q - Have you thought of making THE FLOODS into a Movie?
A - Yes and that might, possibly, maybe, perhaps be going to happen.

Q - What age do you write for?
A - 71.

Q - What is your favourite colour?
A - Well, what for? My favourite colour for the sky is blue, but I wouldn't want to eat an egg with a blue yolk.

Q - Would you like some chocolate?
A - Wouldn't everyone?

Q - PC or Mac?
A - I spit on EVERYTHING Microsoft - PS4 eats Xbox for breakfast and Macs are a thousand times better than PCs, though I do realise as a Mac owner there are things I just can't have if I had PCs. I think they're called viruses.

Q - Ford or Holden? (this will only mean anything to people here in Australia)
A - No thanks.

Q - Where do you get your ideas from?
A - eBay and a small banana called Gerald.

This list will be added to . . . Any ideas?

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